I've been a very bad girl.

Like I mentioned before, as a result of some very bad behavior, I have actually have managed to increase my credit card debt over the last few weeks. One day as I was buying stuff I realized what I was doing to myself (creating another bill that I am going to have to keep paying, interest that will accumulate, money that I can't save to put toward things that I need to live) and I stopped and thought about why I was was spending so much.

I got really bad about charging stuff when the first round of vet bills hit. I really didn't have any other way to pay for stuff. I have gotten very into being crafty (a hobby that requires a certain amount of money in order to have supplies to be crafty with), specifically I am big into knitting and one of my goals for 2009 is to scrapbook the whole year. A lot of things I bought are one time purchases, like a set of alphabet stamps or other stamps for scrapbooking purposes, or knitting needles that I need to make stuff. But a lot of what I bought are things that are not essential to living (or one time purchases either).

So what the heck was going through my head? How did I let myself fall so far off the wagon that I allowed myself to rack up close to $500 on my credit card?

• Well, part of it is that Citi decided to double my credit limit. Which means that I can spend without fear of coming close to my credit limit, which means that I can spend without feeling quite so guilty about it.
• Every purchase was under or around $30, which makes it much easier to tell yourself "I'll pay this back when I get paid next". The problem is that those $30 add up quickly.
• I spend my nights at home alone while Armini is at work so I have a hard time telling myself no when it comes to spending money on my hobby purchases.
• Having a paycheck that is consistently $300 more than what I used to get makes me feel like I have money to burn when I really don't. I need to learn how to live within my means again.

Lately my problem is that I have been spending more than I have been earning and Citi has been enabling me with a new and improved credit limit. But it's up to me to use this responsibly. I know this. And something that I need to start working on is telling myself "NO".

• I DO NOT need a book on knitting (or sewing, or any of the Twilight books) when I can get it from the library.
• I DO NOT need to buy new yarn for projects when I already have quite a bit of yarn that is sitting around waiting for a project that fits them.
• I DO NOT need anymore scrapbook stuff until I start using the stuff that I already have (and I have a lot of stuff, I have been collecting all my supplies for a LONG time).

What I do need to do is ...

• Start doing things that don't cost money! (like work out, or spend time with friends)
• Make a budget (I seem to always be working on this) or think of a way for me to live within my means without a budget (since I can't ever seem to stick to the ones that I make for myself)
• I need to learn how to pace my spending, paying down my debt, and my saving so that I have enough to go around and I'm not sitting at home every night during the week being bored and watching TV.

Easier said than done, I'm sure. But this last rash of falling off the wagon has opened my eyes to a few things about myself. Like the fact that when I don't have any money, I spend. Which is odd since when I have a lot of money I would much rather save it. This makes no sense to me, but it's what I do, so I will just have to learn to deal with and work around in the future.

What about you? What situations make you fall of the wagon? I can't be the only person who has this happen every now and then ... right?

Am Not Dead. Send Money.

Well readers, it's been a while since I've posted on here for a number of reasons.

1. I finally got a feeling of being "master of my money" in real life, which made me feel like blogging about money was no longer something that I needed to do.
2. I finally got that raise at work and was all like "I have soooo much money now I will never want for anything ever again!"

However, I have discovered that getting a raise does not mean that I will never want for anything else, ever again and that I am in no way shape or form "master of my money":

1. My first paycheck (after my raise) (which was last week) was totally gone after a week (read: I have negative dollars in my checking account right now). That is a problem.
2. I have finally figured out what is wrong with Bing and that he will probably need to be on pain killers for the rest of his little doggy life ... also I had to shell out close to $500 this morning for the vet visit + tests + x-rays + medication. Woo!

So, because of the pain of having to write the vet's office two checks this morning and pay them the extra $5 to hold the second one until my next payday, I have decided to get back on this pony and ride. Talking about the problems and trails of managing my money helps me to really do it in real life. Plus - I like to write about it. Yay!

I will update the spend-o-pay-o meters in the next few days. I have gotten rid of a lot of debt (yay!) and one of my New Year's resolutions was to be totally debt free in 2009 ... something that I can definitely blog about and I am already well on my way!

Sorry for the long absence peoples ... I promise not to stay away anymore! Also, I have no idea if Ashely-Michelle will ever post here again (she still live in Kansas BTW [because I know you were just dieing to know what happened with the move to California], she got a scholarship to a great school for a great program and she just couldn't say no. She's still going out there, just not until she graduates).

Keep reading friends ... Hopefully I will get around to reading other blogs soon!

One step forward, two steps back

Well, I was doing so good at paying off my debts and not racking up any more. But I back slid. For a while I thought that I might just not mention it on here, but I think it's important for me to share my triumphs as well as my mistakes. I mean, nobody's perfect and this is a blog about my journey to financial freedom. So here's what happened.

I ran out of money at the end of the month (shocking, I know) and was on a business trip where I would be unable to collect my pay until I returned home. I had no money to pay for my parking at the airport, so I charged it on one of my cards. Then I was getting ready to go on another trip and need to buy some stuff to get ready to go (i.e. shoes to go with my dress, make-up and some other skin care things) and since I didn't have any money, I had yet to deposit the check, I charged that too. All in all, the damage done amounts to $285.91. However, I am currently working on getting my parking paid for by my company and that was about $93. This morning I scheduled a $150 payment, which almost covers my new debt.

Instead of letting myself get overly depressed about it, I decided to respond pro-actively. I took my credit cards out of my wallet and put them in my day planner where I can't get to them to charge on them. I know what you're thinking, "Why don't you just cut them up?" and part of me would say that you're right. But there's another part of me who just can't let go because I keep thinking that I might need them. A while ago I wanted to start selling Beijo bags, which are totally awesome purses made out of vinyl and the whole reason why I got a second credit card, and I still would really like to do it. I feel like cutting up these credit cards would be the end of that opportunity. Maybe one day I will feel like I can cut them up without the feeling of something lost, but until then I'm just going to hide them so that I won't be tempted to charge on them anymore.